With N throughout Samsara

It’s been quite some time since my last post, the intervening time being filled up with endless studying (and that for an exam 16 months away). Studying, is to ensure that at the end of this 16 month period I wouldn’t have to scream “FINALS” (Fuck, I Never Actually Learned this Shit! Oh boy, if you think I’ve been given 16 months as study leave, that’s bollocks, this interlude is also crammed with 7-11 work. That’s 7am to 11pm every week day. So a head start is absolutely essential, and that sufficiently explains my absence which has been spent browsing through books of Olympian proportions. Indeed upon successful completion of said exam I am planning to hand in the above tomes to the local chapter of the weight lifters association.

Yesterday, being a full moon poya holiday, I took a rest and attended a “Sil” programme at the monastery close by. It was here that a priest delivering a sermon commented on the “Nakula Matha- Nakula Pitha” story. A couple in the time of Lord Buddha who inquired from the exalted one, what they had to do to be reborn as husband and wife again in the next life, and so on until they both attained enlightment together. I glanced to my right side, where my girlfriend sat and my thoughts guiltily wondered away from the sermon to remembrances of by gone days.

It was never love at first sight. I can’t even remember when or where 1st sight was. But definitely after 3rd or 4th sight/talk/sms we knew there was some strange “thing” between us. Which prompted a further 20-30 sights/talks/sms’s to figure out what this “thing” was. But fate then separated if not parted our ways and for close to a year we were limited to exchanging poems via texting. This was all before I was blessed by CML.

CML came on with it’s hullabaloo and swept away another idiot of a girl that I had somehow foolishly got entangled with. I was free again, but scarred and weary not the state of person N would’ve wanted to fall in love with. (Let’s call her N to ease this tale) But she has a knack for the unexpected and even protests of unwillingness to enter into a relationship while having something like the Leuk. Only fell on deaf ears connected to a tear streaming face. At the time I thought it was pity that governed her heart. (How wrong?!) Consequently relationship with N was launched on ‘experimental’ basis for 3 months and now into our third year we have become the theory rather than the hypothesis.

N is the “lady with the lamp” who brought back light into my dark, cavernous mind. She is the support on which I lean, again and again even when I don’t need the assistance. She is the one who always reminds me to pop the golden tablets into my mouth every morning. She is the one who reminds me to study for the exams to come. She is the one who wakes me up very morning even when I act like a grouch and scold her. She is the one who cleared the grey clouds on the horizon revealing to me the bright sunshine of Dhamma. She is my life. I’d love to be born with her, again and again in all samsara to come until we attain Nibbana. I want to do all that she has done to me, back to her.


PS- As said by the Buddha to be born together in the next life, the two people must have, equal Trust/Confidence/Faith in the Dhamma (saddhā) , equal Morality (sîla), equal practice of generosity (dāna), equal wisdom of ultimate truth (pańńa).