Analogy of Gotham and Colombo (I'm nuts)

I would like you to run this computation through your processors (Provided of course that you have already been to see/watch/enjoy “Dark Knight”. Otherwise the variables go awry and the methodology is faulty.)
Remember the scene, where after the death of Ms. Rachel Dawes, the Joker threatens the people of Gotham to get out by nightfall or “join the game”.
Ok, now imagine that Colombo was Gotham City, and has been terrorized in quite the same Joker like fashion but also heightening the ethnic tensions in the city. Picture now that due to the same threat to the people, they are flooding to the ferries and segregation along ethnic lines takes place as they are boarded onto the two ferries; one with Sinhalese and one with Tamils. Subsequently, Joker tells each boat that he will blow both boats at midnight unless; one boat blows up the other. What’d you think would happen..?


Do not blame me. It’s just a thought. Only a thought.
After all an idle mind is a fool’s paradise.

With N throughout Samsara

It’s been quite some time since my last post, the intervening time being filled up with endless studying (and that for an exam 16 months away). Studying, is to ensure that at the end of this 16 month period I wouldn’t have to scream “FINALS” (Fuck, I Never Actually Learned this Shit! Oh boy, if you think I’ve been given 16 months as study leave, that’s bollocks, this interlude is also crammed with 7-11 work. That’s 7am to 11pm every week day. So a head start is absolutely essential, and that sufficiently explains my absence which has been spent browsing through books of Olympian proportions. Indeed upon successful completion of said exam I am planning to hand in the above tomes to the local chapter of the weight lifters association.

Yesterday, being a full moon poya holiday, I took a rest and attended a “Sil” programme at the monastery close by. It was here that a priest delivering a sermon commented on the “Nakula Matha- Nakula Pitha” story. A couple in the time of Lord Buddha who inquired from the exalted one, what they had to do to be reborn as husband and wife again in the next life, and so on until they both attained enlightment together. I glanced to my right side, where my girlfriend sat and my thoughts guiltily wondered away from the sermon to remembrances of by gone days.

It was never love at first sight. I can’t even remember when or where 1st sight was. But definitely after 3rd or 4th sight/talk/sms we knew there was some strange “thing” between us. Which prompted a further 20-30 sights/talks/sms’s to figure out what this “thing” was. But fate then separated if not parted our ways and for close to a year we were limited to exchanging poems via texting. This was all before I was blessed by CML.

CML came on with it’s hullabaloo and swept away another idiot of a girl that I had somehow foolishly got entangled with. I was free again, but scarred and weary not the state of person N would’ve wanted to fall in love with. (Let’s call her N to ease this tale) But she has a knack for the unexpected and even protests of unwillingness to enter into a relationship while having something like the Leuk. Only fell on deaf ears connected to a tear streaming face. At the time I thought it was pity that governed her heart. (How wrong?!) Consequently relationship with N was launched on ‘experimental’ basis for 3 months and now into our third year we have become the theory rather than the hypothesis.

N is the “lady with the lamp” who brought back light into my dark, cavernous mind. She is the support on which I lean, again and again even when I don’t need the assistance. She is the one who always reminds me to pop the golden tablets into my mouth every morning. She is the one who reminds me to study for the exams to come. She is the one who wakes me up very morning even when I act like a grouch and scold her. She is the one who cleared the grey clouds on the horizon revealing to me the bright sunshine of Dhamma. She is my life. I’d love to be born with her, again and again in all samsara to come until we attain Nibbana. I want to do all that she has done to me, back to her.


PS- As said by the Buddha to be born together in the next life, the two people must have, equal Trust/Confidence/Faith in the Dhamma (saddhā) , equal Morality (sîla), equal practice of generosity (dāna), equal wisdom of ultimate truth (pańńa).

Of oranges, and tsunami's

No, I'm not trying out Mendis's 'carrom-ball'. I'm thinking why such an advanced science like Medicine has cures for diseases like diabetes, hypertension, heart disease and even cancer but has no cure or remedy for something as simple but prevalent as the common cold! I wonder if the same kind of research into developing a cure for AIDS has gone into formulating something for the ‘cold’. Of course unlike the former you don’t die from it, you’re just tortured alive.

I’m suffering from a horrible cold, and having sneezes that rival the tsunami. It has nothing whatsoever to do with my immunity, my neutrophils are in top shape. The only medicine worth using really is mom’s coriander and the daily dose of Vit C, which I get from the above oranges. All the cucuits of my brain are clogged so next to nothing computes.

If someone knows where to get nasal removal surgery, please let me know. Pronto. In fact as quick as a sneeze.

Re-Mission (game)

I'm 24+ and study in a field that needs continuous, tremendous application and can ill afford the time for anything else, yet I too am addicted to gaming - computer gaming. Starting from Prince of Persia way down the years I've played a lot of games. I do not claim to be a hard-core gamer or guru, though. I'm just your average young John Doe Siripala Gamlath. And hence this is no review, just a musing, a story of a game.



I had heard of games being used for therapeutic purposes in random whisperings, nothing proven, but when I chanced upon Re-Mission I was pleasantly surprised. Re-mission as the website pointed out was a game developed by HopeLab ('a non-profit organisation dedicated to developing cutting edge interventions for young people with chronic illness') with a futuristic theme in the 2020s when nanotechnology is very advanced and nanobots are used to fight illness at a cellular level.



Re-mission is a TPS (third person shooter) in which you play as one of these uber-cool nanobots...

Let me just quote from their description...



"An epic battle rages deep in the realms of the human body. Colonies of microscopic cancer cells replicate, attack and damage healthy organs. Enter Roxxi, your gutsy and fully armed nanobot, and medicine's mightiest warrior. Lead her through challenging missions and rapid-fire assaults on malignant cells, wherever they hide. It's the world's smallest battlefield, yet the stakes have never been higher."

So being interested I digg some more and find out they are distributing the game for free to kids with cancer in the US of A. Not being a 'kid' still just out of curiosity and fun I signed up a form detailing my particulars and condition requesting for a DVD version of the game. It was just a wild grab, they did not undertake overseas delivery and who'd mail me all the way from USA??



However two weeks later, in my mailbox...

I was elated and powered up the bed-top to try it out.



So, Remission is good. It is pleasing to the eye, and I could find no glaring glitches in the animation, controls or gameplay. That's all I'll say coz that's all I know about the technical aspects.



What Roxxi (the nanobot) is doing is hitting the cancer cells and infections inside the body using traditional methods (weapons) of chemotherapy and antibiotics. The game consists of numerous missions in which Roxxi helps out patients (mostly kids) to eradicate typical young cancer's like, Non-hodgkins Lymphoma, Leukaemia, Brain tumours etc. There is also a background story on each of these patients giving the players an idea of the scenarrios surrounding the cancer and how treatment is undertaken.

 

Why I love this game and why I've posted it on my blog is due to the proven health benefit on kids playing Re-mission. This game is distributed free to kids with cancer for them to identify with it. They see that they are not alone in the world of cancer, the symptoms they are experienceing are not unique but shared accross the board. They learn about the disease process and what happens to the body, and the importance of taking medicine, relaxation and other therapeutic measures. It improves their self-efficacy and restores in them the belief that they can kick cancer's butt.



The game is unique in that Roxxi never 'dies' she just powers down and then you are allowed to begin again a few steps behind where the casualty occured. This succeeds in keeping out the gloomy prospect of death while subtly implying that to beat cancer you need to keep on trying and trying, and then you get better and hopefully you can win.



"..We are hitting a very elusive enemy, the toughest, Cancer!"



The positive effects of this game has been proven by scientific studies. And it's exciting and fun to play also.



If I hadn't played it myself I'd never have thought a game about cancer could be fun!

Genesis to present

So there I was at the young age of 20 diagnosed with CML. What happened afterwards uptill now, is a long long story, and to finish it would take a long time, so I'll just tell the most necessary and exciting parts and skim over the rest.



After, the Oncologist I (yes there is an Oncologist II.. details to follow) diagnosed me, I was put on a fairly new, breakthrough drug for Chronic Myeloid Leukaemia named Gleevec/Glivec (trade-name for drug Imatinib mesylate). It was manufactured and marketed by Novartis who were represented in SL by Baurs ltd. And I was put on a dose of 400mg/day measuring to four tablets daily. Now comes the funny part. Hold onto this. In the period of my diagnosis, in August, 2004 -

One pack of Gleevec (for one month/120 tabs) cost Rs. 278,534/= , 

meaning that a day's treatment would cost        Rs. 9,200 

and that a single tablet would be more that      Rs. 2,300

Fortunately we had only to buy a months worth of medicine for there was this patient assistance programme named GIPAP(Glivec International Patient Assistance Program) which provided Glivec at no cost to qualified patients.It was a programme under Novartis which was been run for them by 'The Max Foundation'. These are two organisations to which I am eternally grateful for providing the assistance. Until recently there was much hassle in collecting these medicine, as it was almost given on a ration basis by the kind people at Baurs, but that was due to the idiotic government putting exhorbitant taxes on the free meds that we'd be recieveing, taxes the Baurs people had to pay. Now however that red tape block has been lifted after successful lobbying by a fellow CMLese, to whom we all Sri Lankan CMLites are grateful. We are now collecting our three monthly med packs with much happiness.



Until now, continously I have been taking my daily four golden bullets.

And it has been very successful, it has kept my bad Leuk cells at non-existant levels while causing almost next to nothing of discomfort to me. Nowadays Popping the four golden tablets in and drowning them with a glass of water has become an intergretated almost mechanical chore of my morning rituals.



So to confirm that my cells are kept in check I do a monthly full blood count (FBC); and meet my doctor once every three months. I also have to renew my GIPAP approval via my Oncologist at these visits. Also I generally do a Liver profile once a year just to check if the drugs are in any way screwing up my liver.



Well that's it from a disease sense of view. My Oncologist I died in my second year of treament due to medical illness, and I was so sad to lose him. But my current Oncologist whom I was eventually referred to turned out to be a much more friendly, humourous and likable chap, and we get on smartly.



That effectively sums up the tale on how I came to be here, and now I can blog from the present aith an occasional walk down the memory lane.



Last of a series of posts archived "Genesis"

1. Diagnosis


2. Post-diagnosis


3. Deal with it! 


4. Genesis to present
   
   

Deal with it!

"Never give up, and always be yourself, because life is too short to be anyone else."

In time the diagnosis whirlwind does also settle down. Then you are inevitably left to pick up the splintered pieces. Your family, your loved ones would also help to shift the dirt in looking for those gems, those pearls that used to be you. But cancer, it's a thief. It steals time. It steals hope, happiness among many other things. In the end even if you lovingly stick together all those bits and pieces you are left incomplete. Changed rather. (As I'd like to put it). And the trick here is to deal with that. What I did then was to simply appreciate what I have, instead of lamenting on what I didn't. If you have that sort of mindset you'd be amazed at the clarity with which you start to see yourself. I saw all the love and courage around me, which is the most prized thing I still treasure. I saw that CML was not going to affect my life, my health. I saw that outwardly nothing really had changed. It was only me, my mind that needed some maneuvering. Then I realised that in contrast how little CML had lessened me.

Cancer can change you for the better too. I'm not that shallow materialistic, wannabe' kid anymore, I'm much more circumspect now. Its a miracle in itself the simple joy I can take from watching a simple cloud formation in the sky. (that dork who was looking up, that you bumped into you, just might have been me)
Sigh... All I want to say is 'I am better because of cancer'. As hard as that is to digest. I now pray attention to what really matters. It's been a wake up call to a new way of life and new way of seeing things!

CML has done amazing things, miracles for me...
I am about 5 shades lighter (skin colour) because of the medicine I take for it. (the girls are way jeolous about this); then I have a heavenly girl-friend who stands by me, who I found in part due to CML.
But those story is for another post. Await...


Third of a series of posts archived "Genesis"

1. Diagnosis
2. Post-diagnosis
3. Deal with it!

Post-diagnosis

"The only thing worse than having a cancer is getting the Diagnosis!"

Really? Not so. Not with me, and not with the majority of people out there. Accepted, the family wants to shield the patient from the diagnosis to provide protection from the emotional backlash. But we are an intelligent group, patients these days; we want to know what we're dealing with. We need to come to terms with it, confront it head on. Then either let it overwhelm us or conqueror over it. It's our diagnosis.

It winded me, my big diagnosis. Certainly I was not expecting it. I was numbed for a while, for quite a while. The "why me?" syndrome inevitably crept in.I was treading on loose ground, loosing my feet in the mountain climb of happiness. I couldn't hold on to anybody. They were too weak, too vulnerable, too happy. How was I to show that I was affected?

In the end it had to come from myself to myself, the thoughts...
"You know what dude? You at least have got something with a hippy name attached. And you may accept it now for a fact, cause it's not going to change. All this bull about it can't be me can take a flying leap into the paper basket. Yah, we'd not smoked, done the liq. So it paid off eh, maybe it prolonged this from happening, or prevented any suffering. Maybe all our exercise with diet and meditation even squeezed in a few more golden years"

It took three months, this paradigm shift for me. Becoming a "why not me?". Becoming chummy with CML. Grinning at it's face. Welcoming it when it daily pops into life.

This is another Shift in the fabric... Blogging about it. Anoynymously even though.

That will be the last, having the confidence to stand up and yell "Yes, I'm me and I have CML!". I'm working at it.


Second of a series of posts archived "Genesis"

1. Diagnosis
2. Post-diagnosis